Hidden Love
by Torieoo
Summary: Consumed by hatred of himself for not protecting the girl he loves, Shikamaru pushes away the one person who wants him the most and begins to gravitate toward someone he doesn't want...at least he doesn't think he does. Is Rikku going to be deal with the cold shoulder he's giving or is she going to break apart? (Story is better than the summary)
1. Waiting

She stood there, every day, for hours on end and sometimes even into the night. Her best friend would sometimes join her but neither of them would say a word. People would try to talk them out of standing there but it never made a difference. It was nearly into the eighth day when footsteps came from behind her.

"You know…a little sleep never hurt anyone." It was a familiar female voice. The still girl looked down and then up at the woman with her with light blue eyes.

"Lady Tsunade…I uh…" Was all that could escape her mouth. She didn't know what to say. Was there anything to say?

"You're Iruka Umino's younger sister Rikku, aren't you?"

"Uh, yes ma'am." She nodded her head as her brunette hair followed. It was down to her waist and loose with small braids throughout and all tied together sitting atop her head. Her Leaf Village headband held it together as well. She wore black shorts and a teal shirt that stopped barely above her bellybutton. She was confident in herself and found her own clothing style. Her Kunai bag was clipped to one of the belt loops.

There was a moment of silence as Rikku turned her gaze back to the gates leading out of the Leaf Village, "I wouldn't have sent them out if I didn't think they could get the job done."

"It's been eight days…" She said in a hushed tone clenching her hands into fists. The fifth Hokage took notice, "Please, let me go and see if I can find them. I could be of use to them."

Tsunade Flashback

" _I'm trusting you with this mission Shikamaru. Don't let me down. It'll be a good way to show how good of a Chunin you are."_

" _Yes ma'am, I'll try to do my best."_

" _Now, I've already thought of a few people you can take with you."_

" _Hm?"_

" _Naruto Uzumaki is a good candidate for starters. Along with Sasuke of course."_

" _You're not serious are you? Sasuke I can see. But Naruto? Sometimes the kid can be such a drag." He put his hand behind his head_

" _That kid has more determination than any of you as far as I've seen. He's tough and will be a valuable player on your squad."_

" _Alright I guess. Anyone else?"_

" _Yes. I've seen Rikku Umino perform and for a girl she almost reminds me of myself. If you have anyone on your squad, make sure she is one of them. She could be of use."_

 _He was silent for a second, "No offense but I would have anyone else besides her on my squad." Lady Tsunade kept looking at him to continue, "Truth is, we're pretty good friends and I care for her a lot. Hey, maybe I even like her a little I don't know. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I brought her into a battle and something happened to her." He looked up at her, "Please, promise me you won't send her out, even if she begs. She's safe here."_

 _Lady Tsunade took a deep breath, "Very well, you have my word. But you need to make me a promise Shikamaru."_

" _What is that?"_

" _I won't send her out…but if you care for her as much as you say you do then you promise me right now that you'll come back to her."_

" _You have my word."_

 _End Flashback_

"And if something were to happen? We'd be a village with one less Genin here to protect us. Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Choji and Neji are fine with what they have." The six of them were sent out to take care of some of Orochimaru's henchmen from the Sound Village.

She looked back up at her with tears in her eyes, 'Please Lady Tsunade I'm begging you. I have to see if they're okay. I don't know what I'll do if I find out something happened to them. "

She examined Rikku for a moment. The intensity in her eyes when she spoke about them, "What is it about them that has you so concerned?"

"They're comrades. I mean I'm not very close with Neji, in fact I barely know him. Choji and Kiba I grew up with and Naruto was my first friend that I considered a best friend. I was placed in the same squad as Sasuke and we shared a bond because both of our parents were killed. It seems only fair I fight beside them."

"You left out Shikamaru."

"He's different. We've become good friends and I care about him so much. I actually think I kinda like him. Which is why I need to help him." Her tears fell and hit the ground and her fists clenched even tighter, "I'd die if something ever happened to him."

Lady Tsunade's eyes grew wide with shock. She knew why she saw herself in this young girl. The passion and the commitment to help out anyone who needed her. She sighed, "If I was to send you out it'd be with one more person. Who knows what's lurking in those trees."

Rikku looked up at her in amazement, she never thought she'd get the okay from the fifth Hokage to go out there, "Really? You'll really send me out?"

Tsunade nodded her head, "Yes but on one condition: you look for any who have fallen before heading to catch up with Shikamaru. Now, who do you want to bring with you?"

She thought for a minute, "Sakura. Sakura Haruno. If we find anyone who's fallen, she can bring them back here."

It was 5am when knocks came from Sakura's front door. She grabbed a Kunai and headed down the stairs. She recognized the figure standing there and opened the door, "Rikku, what happened? Have you heard anything?" She asked her friend's eyes filled with tears.

"No one's heard anything. What if Shikamaru is dead!?" She cried, "I begged Lady Tsunade to let me go and find him and help him. But she said I only could if you came with me. Please Sakura, please come with me."

"Of course…I've been dying to know where Sasuke is." She grabbed her Kunai bag and medicine pouch off the table and met Rikku back outside.

"We'll have to see if we find anyone who's fallen first, after that we can find the rest of them."

"If I can't treat them with the medicine, I'll have to bring them back to the village." Sakura said as they began running down the streets.

"I hope it doesn't come down to that."

She felt like they were traveling for hours when finally they noticed debris everywhere, "Oh my God." Sakura said as they came in view with a huge hole with a body in it, "Please don't be anyone we know."

They inched forward and were met face to face with an orange haired sound ninja just lying there in the rubble. They both took sighs of relief and looked at each other to press on. They got about 50 feet farther when they saw someone sitting against a tree, headband lying on their hand and head slumped forward. Rikku walked towards them.

"Choji…" Her heart sank as she fell on her knees, "What the hell happened to you?" She tried to wait for a response but there wasn't one. "Choji…" She tried shaking him to wake him up but it was no use.

"This is bad. We're barely far from the village. I'm going back to get a medical team. Go on ahead and see if you can find any of the others." Sakura was gone in a blink of an eye as Rikku's emotions began to get the best of her.

"You were his best friend. There's no way he'd leave you to die. I don't even know if he knows." She cried to herself, "Don't worry Choji, you're gonna be okay." She hesitated to leave but knew she had to press on. There could be others down.

It was like a complete blood bath. The ninja just didn't stop coming. Sasuke could only use his special technique so many times and Naruto was almost out of ammunition. Shikamaru was wounded and still fighting to survive. Kiba and Akamaru were left back to take care of one sound ninja and so was Neji.

"I don't know how much longer we can hold them off." Naruto said as his shadow clones were slowly dwindling down.

"I'm almost out of Chakra." Sasuke breathed as he held onto the tree for support, "We're outnumbered by a lot."

Shikamaru looked up, "Yeah we are. But I made a promise to someone and I need to keep it. Plus, I'm not gonna watch my comrades die right in front of me. Now, let me think of a plan…"


	2. She Wasn't Supposed to Come

**Okay so I know the first chapter was a little bumpy but I hope every likes it! Let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 2**

"Neji…no." Rikku's eyes filled with tears as she was once again faced with the sight of a fellow ninja lying there, motionless. It was a lot for her to handle. She didn't know what to do for them. She wasn't trained in the medical field. She put her hands through her hair to get herself together. She was 16 but felt like she was 12 again. She's seen worse, but the fact that these were her friends made it worse.

She had to find Shikamaru. Out of all of them he was the one she wanted to see the most. She was afraid for the others as well but like she had told Tsunade: she'd die if anything happened to him. She marked a tree for Sakura to find out which way she went. She wiped the tears away and headed out again.

Shikamaru was still trying to put a plan together. He got in his usual formation. Fingers together and eyes closed. Sasuke and Naruto kept giving their best before he called them over, "There's no way we can take them head on. Now, if you two keep them busy I'm sure my shadow possession jutsu will reach far enough to get a hold on them. Then, we'll go from there."

"Do you have enough Chakra for that?" Naruto asked

"We'll see." He shrugged as they broke away. Like the plan Naruto and Sasuke tried to keep them busy. As Shikamaru was getting ready for his jutsu, a sound ninja caught him from behind, shoving him in the tree a few feet away.

"You Leaf Village ninja think you're so smart with your jutsu." He laughed as the others joined him on a tree, "Lord Orochimaru will be happy to hear that the three of you have been exterminated."

"Yeah well don't count us out yet, we've got plenty of more fight in us!" Naruto shouted back at them. He was always the one to never give up. It was his ninja way, "You sound ninja think you're so much better than us and I've had enough of it."

They laughed as their skin began to look like it was on fire. It covered their whole body and soon they were all transforming into another kind of human, "What are they?" Shikamaru asked watching in horror.

"Beats me. They look even stronger than before." Sasuke answered back as they stood there unsure of what to do next, "What do we do?"

In a short time there was a gust of wind that sent them all flying. Once it subsided, three more faces stood on the opposite side, "What the? What are you doing here?" Naruto shouted

"What does it look like? We're aiding our allies." Temari stated, "Lady Hokage asked us to come assist you."

"Yes, it seems she may have underestimated the opponent." Gaara said. He looked different this time. More relaxed.

"It doesn't matter who you are, we're still going to kill you!" The leader of the sound ninja exclaimed as they all began to intertwine.

Shikamaru was being tossed around like a rag doll. He knew he was in for. He couldn't keep this up, he had barely any chakra left and his strength was dwindling. He stood up, barely as the sound ninja grabbed a hold of him and pushed him against the tree.

"And now… you die!" He shouted as he began to bring his Kunai towards Shikamaru's chest. He shut his eyes but never felt the pain. When he opened them he was horrified. Everyone was. Naruto's mouthed dropped and Sasuke's brow was brought closer together.

There was Rikku, taking what should have been a final blow for Shikamaru. His eyes were wide and all he could hear was Lady Tsunade telling him she'd keep Rikku there, "Rikku!" Naruto shouted.

She gasped as blood came out of her mouth. She put her hand on the opponents shoulder, "Hmph, you stupid girl." He twisted the Kunai making her shriek with pain.

"No stop!" Shikamaru yelled trying to get up. He couldn't. Even if he did, he was powerless now.

Slowly, she put her hand on the blade and pulled it out, leaving a trail of blood following. She clutched it with her hand and pointed it towards the man who stabbed her, "You want more?" He asked laughing, Alright then, it's your funeral."

He charged for her, grabbing her by the hair and whipping her into the tree behind him. He threw her up into the air and kicked her, smashing her down breaking the very tree they were just standing on. He laughed as she struggled to stand up, "Rikku stop!" She heard Naruto and Shikamaru yelling.

"I can't help her, I'm wiped out." Shikamaru said as they continued to watch, "He'll kill us all."

"How did she get out here so fast? And why would Grandma Tsunade let her leave?" Naruto asked beside him.

"I don't know…"

She wiped the blood away from her mouth. She was in so much pain. As he charged her again she stood up. He pushed and moved her backwards but she didn't give up, she couldn't.

"Hey Sand ninja! Get down there and help her!" Naruto yelled. Gaara was about to when Temari stopped him.

"No, this is her fight." Naruto looked at her horrified, "She chose to step in the middle of it. Now she has to deal with it." Naruto couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could they just watch their friend get beaten like this? They were allies to the Leaf village but weren't acting like it now.

Temari watched with a sort of happiness. Since the Chunin exams she always found Shikamaru interesting. She didn't completely like him but she knew there was something about him that she liked. She had begun spending more time in the Leaf Village to get closer to him but he didn't really give her the time of day. He was always hanging around with Rikku, Naruto, Choji and Sakura. She was angry that she couldn't save him, that some other girl did instead. It should have been her.

"Give it up little girl, you can't win. I'm too strong!" She was done. She knew it. She could barely stand let alone fight. Blood poured down her arms, legs and face. She was shocked that she was still conscious, "But fine, if you don't want to surrender I'll just put you out of your misery."

The screaming Shikamaru heard ran throughout his entire body. It froze him. He smashed her into the ground. He just watched the only girl he'd actually cared about almost die in front of him. And he couldn't even help. The incident sent Naruto into a fit of rage. He started glowing red.

"I already told you to not underestimate us." He growled as his Chakra grew stronger and he produced some of his shadow clones, "Rasengan!" he shouted as he plowed into the man attacking his friend. His eyes were red and his finger nails looked like claws.

"What the?" The other Sound ninja stood there shocked that one of their teammates was down. It wasn't possible. Naruto stood up breathing heavily.

"Shikamaru. Get Rikku and get out of here. We can handle these guys!" He commanded. Shikamaru nodded and jumped down. He scooped her up and set off back to the Leaf Village.

Temari watched as he held her tight, _"Let's hope she doesn't make it"_ She thought as they disappeared from her sight.


	3. Guilt

**I hope you guys like this story! Please leave a review!**

Chapter 3

"What the, what happened!?" Tsunade yelled as Shikamaru got closer to the hospital. He was bloody, she was bloody and there was a trail following them. Shizune ran out after her and stopped in shock. Shikamaru was barely able to walk himself.

"Help her, please! I don't know if she's even alive anymore." He breathed

Shizune called for a few medics to come and take Rikku out of his arms and to help him inside, "Is there anyone else with you?" She asked him as they went inside.

"No, Naruto, Sasuke and the Sand Village ninja who were sent to help are still battling it out. Kiba, Neji and Choji were all taking care of their own man." He explained as he was led down a different hallway, "Wait where are we going, why can't I go with her?"

"Her injuries are extensive and Lady Tsunade needs to fully examine her. Worry about yourself for right now Shikamaru. There's nothing else you can do for her." Shizune's words were like knives stabbing him. Nothing else he could do for her? He didn't do anything to begin with.

He laid there, staring up at the ceiling. He was bandaged up and looked like a mummy almost. It had been a few hours since they got back and he was tired of not knowing anything. Rikku could be dead and he's just lying there. He sat up and cringed. He was in pain but pushed through it.

"Shikamaru." His father, Shikaku stated as he walked around the corner into the waiting area outside her room.

"Well? Anything?" He asked sitting on the opposite side of his father. His father shook his head.

"I lended Lady Tsunade the Nara family medicine book to heal her…and Choji and Neji." He said with his head down. Shikamaru's head shot up.

"Choji and Neji? What happened to them?"

"They were nearly on death's door. The whole reason Rikku and Sakura were sent out was to find anyone who had fallen along the way to find you."

"So…they saved them?"

His father shook his head. It was like looking at a mirror. Shikamaru looked just like his father, attitude and all. However the younger Nara couldn't hold in his emotions anymore. He gripped his knees and put his head down. Tears escaped his eyes.

"They're all hurt, because of me. I wasn't a good enough leader." He cried keeping his head down. His father stayed silent.

"You did what was best for your team." He finally said back to his son to comfort him. He kept his arms crossed and stayed sitting against the bench. Shikamaru had confided in his father about how he was feeling for the girl and he knew how upset this probably made him.

Nothing more was said for about two hours. Finally, Lady Tsunade came out, "It's finished. Both Rikku and Choji are going to be alright. Thank you Shikaku, without the Nara's book there's no way I could have saved them both." He nodded in response. Shikamaru stood up.

"How could you just let her go out there? After you promised me you wouldn't. You went back on your word!" He yelled.

"If you remember correctly you also gave me your word that you would return here for her. What do you think would have happened if you died? Do you have any idea what that girl would go through?" She thought for a moment that she had said too much.

"Still," He held his hands in fists, "She could have died because of me. I couldn't save her. I couldn't do anything for her." Feelings of guilt and hated began to spread through him.

"She saved you and she's fine. That's all that matters." Tsunade replied walking past him. His father walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"How do I face her? Naruto was the one who saved her life from ending. I watched from the sidelines not knowing what to do. I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't do anything."

His father sighed, "She'll understand."

Later that night, Naruto, Sasuke and the three Sand ninja returned with members of the Anbu Black Ops. After seeing the damage done to Rikku, Choji and Neji, Lady Tsunade didn't want to take any more chances. Both boys suffered from minor injuries and the other three returned fine.

"I'm telling you I could have taken them all." Naruto said as they sat at Ramen Ichiraku. Shikamaru sat at the end silent, "Hey Shikamaru, is Rikku okay?"

His fists tightened, "She'll be fine." He said almost through his teeth. He got up, "I don't really feel like eating right now. I'm glad you guys are fine but I'll see ya around."

Temari figured this was the perfect time to talk to him alone, "Hey, wait up!" She called running up after him.

"If ya don't mind, I'd sort of like to be alone." He said shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Why are you beating yourself up so much. She survived."

He stopped, "That's not the point. My father would protect my mother even if he was about to die. And I just watched like a coward as my girl was being torn to shreds."

The words 'my girl' tore through Temari worse than any Kunai that ever hit her. She was now starting to see the feelings he had for this girl. Nonetheless, she would try to get him to feel that way about her.

"You had to make a decision. Whether it's right or wrong you chose to do something. Nothing can be changed about it now."

"Still, how do I face her when I couldn't be the guy I was supposed to?" He asked as they began walking again, "I feel like a total failure."

Temari slipped her hand into Shikamaru's and he looked down. She smiled, "You're not a failure. At least I don't think you are." Her smile looked genuine and her hand was warm. It made him feel funny. For the longest time he only really liked Rikku and never really gave Temari the time of day. But looking at Temari made him realize something. Was he going after the wrong person? Her eyes were inviting and the way she helped try to cheer him up made him appreciate her company more than before.


	4. Blossoming Love?

**Wow I cannot believe all the reads this has gotten, thank you! Please leave a review for me !**

 **Chapter 4**

In the month that Rikku, Choji and Neji were in the hospital recovering, Sakura kept a close on Temari and Shikamaru. Ever since the night they all went out for Ramen and she saw the two of them holding hands, something didn't sit well with her. He began to detach himself from the group. He didn't talk to anyone. He'd either be off training or laying in his favorite spot watching the clouds. When he did socialize with anyone, it was only Temari. The two were getting awfully close awfully fast and Sakura didn't like it at all.

Her, Naruto and Sasuke were all sitting around after a small training session when Sakura decided to bring it up, "Have you guys talked to Shikamaru lately?" She asked

"No he's always off training or hanging out with that girl from the Sand Village. What's the deal with them anyway? I thought he didn't like girls."

"Well he doesn't like guys Naruto!" Sakura scolded, "But I don't know. I can't tell if she really likes him or if this is just a ploy."

"Maybe he's finally touching into his inner feelings." Sasuke suggested. They looked at him, "Think about it. He's one of the few who never show any emotion. It's always been how Shikamaru was, but maybe now he's coming out of his shell."

"Yeah maybe you're right. But I always thought that he would like Rikku. They were so close with eachother."

"Just because you're close with someone doesn't mean you like them romantically."

"Yeah Sakura I mean if Shikamaru liked Rikku he would have probably made his move. Maybe there's just something he doesn't like about her. Or maybe Temari has something Rik doesn't." Naruto suggested stretching out.

"Yeah….maybe." She said looking up at the sky. She sighed at the thought of her friend's feelings and how she'd react.

"Again!" Temari shouted as Shikamaru came after her. She had been helping him train the past couple weeks. She wanted to do be doing something else, like getting to know him, but she took what she got. He wasn't in a talking mood anymore. If they weren't training they were just sitting in silence.

"Come on this is the tenth time I've done this. It's beginning to be a drag." He said putting his arms behind his head, "Besides, the only reason why I wanted to hangout was to do a little training."

"Then what's the problem?" She asked placing her fan down. She put her arm on top of it resting herself against it.

"I'm tired and don't feel like doing it anymore." He replied turning his back to her, "I'll see you later."

She could feel him pulling away from her. If he didn't want to train then he wouldn't want to see her. She tried to think of something to say to make him stay, "Laziness is what made you fail the first time."

He stopped and looked at her, "Excuse me?"

"You never want to train yet you complain when you couldn't save your precious friend. How are you gonna save someone else if you're still too lazy to get better?" She raised her eyebrows as he stood there contemplating on giving in or not.

"Fine," He faced her, "A few more times couldn't hurt."

The day of her release finally came. She couldn't wait to be out of there. She had a bandage covering where she got hit the hardest in her abdomen and it showed since her shirt only covered half of her stomach. She had a few on her arms and two on her face. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Choji and Neji were all waiting there for her. Neji had grown closer to the group since the mission had happened.

The door opened revealing the sunlight and the village she missed. It also revealed the friends she'd been longing to see, "Rikku!" Naruto exclaimed hugging her from the side. She smiled and flinched.

"Get off her Naruto she just got released, you don't want her to get sent back in do you?" Sakura said hitting him. He stepped back apologizing, "How are you feeling?"

"Aside from some pain when I'm touched, pretty good. Lady Tsunade said I'd probably have a scar on my stomach but it's no big deal." She smiled when she talked. She turned her attention to Choji and Neji, "You guys alright?" They nodded in agreement.

"Has Iruka Sensei been to see you?" Naruto asked

"He came by once when I was out, but he's been on missions so I'll see him eventually." She smirked and began to walk ahead of them. She felt so happy to be out of there already, "Oh before I forget," She turned back around, "Naruto,"

"Yeah?"

"Come here." He walked over hesitantly as she put her arms around him hugging him tightly, "Thank you. Without you I wouldn't be alive." He hugged back, "Now then, I think I owe you a big hot bowl of ramen. What do you say?"

"Ramen? Are you kidding? I'm always up for ramen! Let's go!" He cheered as they all laughed.

Shikamaru was watching from one of the trees near the hospital. She was so happy and smiling even though she almost died. She even knew who saved her. He felt jealous of Naruto. He wanted to be the one she came to and thanked. He wanted to hear, "Thank you Shikamaru, you saved me'. He sighed sitting back and watched them walk away.

"Where's Shikamaru?" She asked Sakura as Naruto and Sasuke walked ahead of them after eating. Sakura kicked the dirt in front of her.

"He's been so weird lately. He never hangs out with us anymore and I heard from Lady Tsunade that he was really torn up about the whole mission. It's not like him at all. When he does socialize it's with that girl Temari from the Sand Village."

"Does he like her?" She asked as she could feel tugging at her heart.

Sakura shrugged, "I don't know. Sasuke thought maybe it was him digging into his inner feelings or something. Naruto said maybe she had something you don't. We only see him with her when he's training. Other than that he's at his favorite spot watching the clouds."

Rikku was silent for a minute. Could it be that Shikamaru didn't like her after all? They were so close for the last 5 years and she really felt something between them. But if this was the way he wanted to go she wasn't going to stop him.

"Hey Shikamaru!" She heard Naruto call, "Look who's out of the hospital!" Shikamaru looked over and then back in the direction he was walking. Naruto looked puzzled.

"How rude." Sasuke commented, "His good friend gets released from the hospital and he can't even come over and say hello?"

"It's fine you guys. Really," Rikku lied as her heart sank into her stomach. She brushed it off as Naruto kept rambling.

"I can't wait till you're fully healed, we're gonna train everyday all day and hey maybe I can even teach you a move or two!"

Rikku laughed, "As long as it isn't that ridiculous sexy jutsu."

"Ridiculous!? That jutsu is a number 1 in my book!" He protested as she laughed. She noticed the stairway to Shikamaru's favorite spot and stopped.

"Hey you guys, give me a minute? I'll meet up with you in a few." She said as she began her way up the stairs. There he was, laid back with his arms folded behind his head, staring up at the sky. She walked over nonchalantly and sat down next to him. He didn't say anything so she laid down beside him.

 _Flashback_

 _"Is this what you do all day?" She asked him as they were in the same spots as this time. He chuckled._

 _"Yeah, it's pretty relaxing. Choji is usually with me."_

 _"You're so lazy you know that?" She laughed as she looked up into the sky. It was pretty relaxing._

 _"I like to think of it as clearing my head. Don't you ever need to do that? Just get away from everyone?"_

 _She shrugged, "I don't know . If I ever need to get away I just go home, my brother is usually out on missions so it's pretty peaceful."_

 _"Well, if you ever need another place to come to…I guess you can come to my spot." He smirked as she nudged him, "Only if I give you permission though."_

 _End Flashback_

They were silent not saying a word to eachother, just looking up at the sky. He sighed, "What are you doing here?"

"Getting away from everyone." She sighed back as he sat up. She followed him, "Sakura told me you've been acting weird. Why?"

"I've been focusing on my training. If you didn't notice that last mission I was the leader of didn't go so well…"

"Not every mission is clean cut and perfect." She pointed out as he stood up. She stayed seated. Too much movement hurt. He couldn't look at her with all those bandages, "Things happen, people get hurt. But everyone was okay."

"Okay? You call almost dying 'okay'?"

"It could have been worse. Thank God Naruto was able to take him otherwise I would have been dead and you'd have brought a corpse back to the-"

"Don't say that, it's bad enough that I put Choji and Neji at death's door. I don't want to think about the fact that you were there too."

She frowned, "Why are you beating yourself up about it? No one blames you. I don't blame you," She stood up behind him, "And why aren't you looking at me? I know I look alittle rough but come on it can't be that bad."

Actually it was to him. It was like looking at a horrible accident. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He clenched his fists again, "You look like that because of me."

"What are you talking about? I chose to step in front of you Shikamaru. You didn't ask me to do it."

"Exactly," He turned to face her finally, "Why did you do that? I would've rather have died then witness my friend doing it for me."

"You don't get it do you?" She asked, "You're one of my best friends. Do you have any idea how I would feel if I watched you die? Friends protect friends. I took a blow for you and I would gladly do it again if I had to. Stop being so stubborn."

"I shouldn't have to have a girl fight my battles. I should be able to protect you, not the other way around. You don't understand the feelings of failure I have because I couldn't live up to my potential."

She sighed, "One mission and a few injuries doesn't make you a failure. It's a good thing I was allowed out of the village otherwise you'd have died."

"We had plenty of resources. The three ninja from the Sand Village were all that we needed and I'm sure one of them would have helped me. You should have stayed put." His words were a bit harsh as she heard them. He basically told her she was no longer needed.

"You're talking about Temari aren't you? Sakura's mentioned seeing you guys together." Shikamaru stayed silent, "So you really like her huh?"

"She's a training partner. We've gotten pretty close and she's a pretty cool girl." He looked away from her, "For some time now I've only had my mind on one person because I thought she was what I wanted. But…I've realized that maybe this other girl is what I need in life. Not everything is about what you want, no matter who it is."

She was shocked. He didn't know her feelings for him and she didn't know if he felt the same way but something about what he said just ripped her apart worse than the sound ninja did. She was quiet for a moment and he thought that she left. As she went to speak another person appeared. It was Temari.

"They released you already?" She asked Rikku. She didn't have hatred in her eyes but more like disappointment. She talked as though she was upset that the hospital let Rikku out, "Unfortunately we have a training session to get to."

Rikku looked at Shikamaru and he was silent for a moment. He didn't want to be mean to her but he also didn't want to get close to her again. He needed to distance himself from her. He never wanted to get into a situation like that again with such a close friend. It would be good for the both of them.

"I'll see you later." He said as they took off. Rikku stood there shocked that her best friend would be so cold to her. What did she do that was so wrong? She was beginning to feel as though she never should have stepped in front of him to begin with.


	5. Enlighten Me

**Hope you're all liking this! Leave me some feedback! I'll try to make the next chapter longer!**

Another month had gone by, and another, and another. The closer Shikamaru and Temari got, the farther Rikku and Shikamaru seemed to become. There weren't any 'hellos' or smiles, not even a notice of their presence. All because of one mishap? She couldn't wrap her head around it but all she knew was the she was never the one Shikamaru really wanted to be with. If he did, he would have told her so the second she got out of the hospital. What bothered her even more is hearing people talk about the situation like she didn't have ears.

" _I heard he didn't want to be friends with someone who was stronger than him"  
"I always thought the two of them would end up together"  
"She saves him and how does he repay her? By cutting her off from his life."  
"They haven't spoken in weeks_."

"You're home?" Iruka asked as Rikku stood against the counter picking at a bowl of rice she made. She wasn't even hungry anymore now that she was thinking about Shikamaru, "Why aren't you out with Sakura and the rest of them?"

"They're all on missions and Lady Tsunade doesn't want me to strain myself yet. She still thinks I need a few months off from going out to battle," She sighed moving the rice back and forth in the bowl, "So here I am."

"If it's for the best stop complaining. You don't want to go out when you aren't fully recovered." She stayed silent sulking, "I think Shikamaru returned from one of his missions, why don't you go and hangout with him?"

"No thanks." She responded not looking at him. She took a few bites of her rice and then just fiddled with it again.

"Hm? Why? You guys have been joined at the hip since you graduated the academy."

"Yeah well he's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I saved him. Besides, he has a new girlfriend. Temari from the Sand Village."

"And why is that a problem? You're his friend he should still be able to hang out with you and her."

"I don't like her."

"Because she's dating your friend?"

Rikku sighed and then looked up at her brother, "Because I like him…" He raised his eyebrow at her and folded his arms, "Oh shut up."

He chuckled, "I've been waiting for the day you finally admitted it." She looked at him confused, "Anyone with common sense can see that you two have something for eachother. It's the talk of the town."

"Oh great so the whole town knows that I have feelings for him when he's off dating someone else. Doesn't that make me look pathetic?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. But I have some news to tell you anyway," She perked up at that, "Shikaku and Yoshino have invited us to dinner in honor of his return."

"No, I'm not going." She folded her arms in protest. Why would she want to be sitting across from Shikamaru and the girl who stole him from her? She loved his family but the situation would be too uncomfortable.

There they were, Shikaku at the head of the table, Yoshino on his right, Iruka on his left, Shikamaru next to his mother and Rikku next to her brother. Neither of them said a word to eachother and it bothered Shikamaru. Usually when the two families got together it was hard for the adults to shut them up. Now, it was silence between them.

"Delicious meal Yoshino, thank you for inviting us," Iruka smiled nudging his little sister to say something.

She smiled, "Yes thank you, it's also so nice to have meal Iruka hasn't burned." They chuckled at that remark.

"Maybe Rikku should spend more time with you Yoshino so she can learn the recipes and cook." Iruka shot back as they all laughed. It was always a good time when they had dinner together. The Nara's knew how hard it was for Iruka to raise his little sister all by himself at such a young age so they took him and her under their wing and watched out for them.

That's why it came as a shock to the village when Shikamaru and Rikku stopped speaking to eachother. They were basically raised together and always around each other but didn't get really close until they graduated the academy.

"By the way Rikku, how have you been recovering? I've noticed you haven't been sent out on any missions." Shikaku asked as Shikamaru tensed. They had all noticed the tension and would do just about anything to get a reaction from him.

"Pretty good thank you, Lady Tsunade wants me to still take it easy before I'm sent out but who knows, maybe I'll persuade her into shortening the time off."

"Good I'm glad to hear it," Shikaku didn't smile much but he did at this, "Shikamaru is everything okay? You've been awfully quiet."

"Just not in a socializing mood."

"That's an understatement," Rikku mumbled as he looked at her. Her expression to him was cold and he knew it was his fault but it still hurt.

"What is with the two of you? You're usually talking up a storm." Yoshino asked as she made Shikaku another plate.

"Ask him." Rikku, followed by everyone else, waited for an answer from Shikamaru. He stayed quiet, "He's mad that I took the blow for him."

"That is not it." He said back defensively. The other two Nara's and Iruka watched as they began to battle it out.

"Then please enlighten me Shikamaru."

"We didn't need your help! Like I said before, we had plenty of resources."

"Oh like your girlfriend Temari? Would you rather of had her take it for you? Would that have been better?"

"I would've been able to take him myself."

"This is the problem with you, you can't just swallow your pride. Instead of hating me, you should be thanking me that I even put my life on the line for you!"

"There was no reason for you do it!"

"It had been eight days! People were worried about all of you! Do you want to know what I did for those eight days? I stood at the entrance leading out of the village waiting for you to come back. You! I was so worried about you and all I wanted was to make sure you were okay. Excuse me for caring about you."

" I made Lady Tsunade give me her word that she wouldn't send you out with us because I didn't want something happening to you." He slammed his fist on the table and stood up leaning on the table.

"Shikamaru." His father said sternly as Rikku followed his stance.

"Is that what this is about? A broken promise by the Hokage?"

"No, its not."

"Then what is it! What are you so afraid of!?"

He looked at her directly in her eyes, "That I'm not strong enough to protect you!" It shocked her for a second at his words. Out of everyone he was afraid of not being able to protect her?

"I can take care of myself. Your new love interest might need saving but I certainly don't. I know how to take care of myself; I've been doing it all my life." She said infuriated at him, "Excuse me but I have to go."

Shikamaru took a deep breath and sat back down looking at the empty seat across from him, "She is such a pain."

"Son, you've told me how much she means to you, right?" Shikaku asked. Shikamaru nodded, "If you were looking for hint of if she felt the same, that was it."

Shikamaru sighed. How could he be so blind? She really did like him all along. But he was with Temari now and he did have genuine feelings for her. It was early, but they had talked about marriage already. She really cared for him and he did care for her but the feelings for his former friend still lingered. He tried his best to push them aside and most of the time it worked, unless he saw her. Then all the feelings hit him like bricks.

"Oh man what a drag." He groaned sinking into his seat.


	6. Emotions

**I'm sorry if this chapter is a little short. I'm working on making them longer lol Anyway I hope you like it! Leave a review please! [:**

Chapter 6

To calm herself down, she went for a walk through the village. There were kids playing in the streets and movement around the village. Losing herself in her own thoughts, she ended up at the Memorial Stone. Every now and then she'd go and visit to pay her respects to the ninja who lost their lives and to her parents who she didn't know. Usually when she went Iruka would be with her since she hated going alone.

There was always emptiness in her heart due to the fact she had no idea who her parents were. She knew their names and what they looked like but that wasn't enough for her. She didn't walk up but stopped a few feet away from it.

Taking a deep breath she continued going up to it. She knelt down in front of her parent's names and stared at it, "I could really use you right now mom. I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore."

It was silent and peaceful. All this stone ever brought to her was sadness and she hated it. Tears started filling up in her eyes and she tightened her grip into fists.

"It isn't fair, it isn't fair that I don't even know who you two are. It isn't fair that if I want to talk to you two I have to come to a monument." Tears streamed down her face, "I need so much guidance that should have been instilled in me by the both of you. Iruka is a great guardian but I need a mother who can teach me household duties and give me advice about guys that I like and a father to teach me how to become a great ninja and secret family jutsu's. We're supposed to be a family and I don't even know what that is or what it feels like to come home to parents waiting to see how my first day at school went or my first training session or my first mission."

It was the first time she had let everything out there and it felt good but it continued to come, "And to add to everything the one guy I was close with doesn't even give me the time of day anymore. I liked him so much and I tried to show it by saving his life and it just turned out for the worst." She was quiet for a second, "Sometimes I just wish that sound ninja killed me so I could be with you two and I wouldn't have to deal with the constant pain and loneliness I feel daily."

Back at the Nara household Iruka sat with Shikaku and Yoshino while Shikamaru left to go make sense of everything, "That was….not good." Iruka said finally after a few minutes of silence.

"That's the first time I've ever seen Shikamaru get like that before." Yoshino commented as she began to clean up. No one had any appetite anymore.

"Rik only gets that way when something's really bothering her." Iruka agreed, "It's been tough for her and Shikamaru has always been that rock and constant in her life. You've seen how close they were and him not speaking to her is affecting her more than I thought."

"I know he's deeply affected by the fact he couldn't do anything to help her. He feels like he failed her and doesn't think she'll ever be able to understand. I tried to tell him she would but it's no use. The boy is stubborn."

"Like father like son," Yoshino smiled as Shikaku shot her a small look, "I hope they work it out."

"If it's meant to be they will."

"Hey there you are!" Temari called running up to Shikamaru who was sitting against a tree. He would have gone to his favorite spot but he ran the risk of seeing Rikku there. He glanced up at her but didn't say anything, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing," He lied as she stood there just looking at him, "I got into a fight with Rikku."

"I thought you weren't going to talk to her anymore."

"My family invited her brother and her over for dinner, it's kind of our thing since we've been little. Everything just sort of blew up."

She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. When he looked at it he didn't feel the same way he did that first night she did it. Now he just felt like it was meaningless to keep this going. He wasn't fooling anyone…not even himself.

"Well next time I'll just have to be there to put her in her place. She's been so angry at you for no reason." He shrugged at his girlfriend and took out a cigarette, "When did you start smoking?"

"I sort of always did. Rikku got me to quit but these last few months I just can't help it." He explained as Temari frowned, "What now?" Lately she just complained to him if she didn't like something. It's more than he wanted in a relationship.

"Nothing, so what else happened?" She lied. She could tell he was getting annoyed with her constant whining.

"She stormed out. I wish I knew where she went so I could talk to her about it. I kind of feel bad about how everything has gone down these past few months."

Temari contemplated on telling him where she saw her, "She's at the memorial stone." She answered as he looked over at her. His hand left her grasp, "I think she was crying." He got up and started running, "Shikamaru!"

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Rikku sat up on her knees and just stared blankly at her parents' names. She almost felt like everything was falling apart. Sure she had Sakura, Naruto and the rest of them but none of them were Shikamaru. It felt silly to cry over a guy who didn't know her true feelings but she was never good with showing her true feelings. She kept everything bottled up inside that way she didn't look vulnerable.

She got up and brushed off her legs before turning around. When she did Shikamaru was running up but stopped once he saw her face. It was red and puffy and he knew he caused it. He sighed, "Temari said you would be here."

"Oh, great." She responded, "Come to hash it out some more?" She played it off like she wasn't just pouring her emotions out.

He shook his head, "I was gonna find you to talk, like a casual conversation. You know I think fighting is such a drag." She stood there waiting, "I know I've been pushing you away. But you don't know how I'm feeling inside because of this. I'm 17 but feel like I'm 12 again."

"And like you know how I'm feeling inside? I thought you would be happy that I pleaded with Lady Tsunade to let me help you. I never knew why I wasn't picked for you team."

"She suggested you…but I told her to not assign you to the squad because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened…and it did."

"You don't get it," She almost laughed at him, "The whole reason I begged her to send me out is because I expressed how much I care about you. She told me no at first until I opened up to her. I'm not kidding when I said I stood there every day waiting for you. I was terrified that only your headband would come back and that'd be the only thing I had left of my friend."

He was silent. He felt like a total jerk and an idiot for letting this get so out of hand. He could see the tears forming in her eyes again and it killed him, "There was no way I was dying. In order for Lady Tsunade to promise me you wouldn't be hurt, she made me give my word that I'd come back to you. I wasn't going to give up on it. But I watched you get pummeled into the ground and I had nothing left to help you. I felt like I failed you because Naruto was the one who saved you."

"I don't care about any of that don't you get it?" She cried, "I don't care if you saved me or if Naruto did. I was just happy you were alive. Do you think it was easy for me to see that guy coming at you when I knew you were reaching your limit? Do you think it was easy for me to make the decision to step in front of you? Like I said before, I would gladly do it again if it meant you could live."

"Why?" He asked, "Why would you go through all that effort just for a friend?"

She was quiet for a second as she calmed herself down, "Because," She finally said, "People protect the ones they love. And what would the world be like if I lost one of the people who I love the most?"


End file.
